What it feels like to be a girl

Subtitle: I dont want to see your damn dick pics.

AKA: I don’t want to see your fucking dick pics.

Being a girl is something that I cant quite put all the correct words into, in order to help my male friends really understand the day to day bullshit that us females put up with as a society.

I suppose the best way to point out the male ignorance is an event that happened just this week. My male business partner and I are attending an annual conference mostly attended by the highest level CEO’s, which of course, are mostly old white men in suits. I am likely one of the youngest management types there, by at least 15 years. I’m a young female, and wayyyy too much has to go into the way I want to present myself. Of course I want to be attractive, but not too attractive, as I want males to take me serious. I cant wear a “power suit” or will be deemed “brash” or “a bitch.” Spare me your lectures on clothing, I know all about the bullshit in the south and the line we walk, but that is a blog post for another day.

My choice of attire is a simple black Ralph Lauren dress, with large printed flowers. Its knee length, and cuts just under my collar bone, as I don’t want any cleavage to show. Its modest but does show a bit of a silhouette of my body, as its not like wearing a potato sack.

The first hour of the conference, an older man came up to me at our booth, at least 30 years my senior. He quickly smiled at me and ignored that my male business partner was even present “Oh..” he motions like he is going to stroke my face, “That dress.. umm[as he obviously looks at my chest] that and your hair color and your lipstick just, very beautiful darling. If youre free later…” until I abruptly cut him off, ignoring a comment with a “Thanks, so sir what company are you with” to change the topic.

I wish I could tell you that it’s the first time it happened. Hell I wish it was the 21^st, the truth is, a LONG TIME AGO, I stopped counting. Now I’m not a Barbie good looking kinda gal, but I don’t break too many mirrors, but it happens to us all. Unwarranted bullshit by men.

The best part about this, is that the second the older gentleman walked out of ear shot, my male business partner burst into laughter “what the FUCK was that!?” I just looked at him blankly and said “welcome to being a corporate female in 2017.”

The look he gave me, you would have thought that I had just told him that the smurfs just ran into the conference room with burning pitchforks reenacting Custer’s Last Stand. Baffled doesn’t even begin to cover it. He was straight up flabbergasted that any male would even think of saying something like this to a woman, especially in a professional setting.

He, he is one of the good ones ladies. However, I fear that the bad ones are far outnumbering them.Lets fast forward to this evening. I’ve been talking to a guy I met online “Rob” briefly here and there. Told him we’d hang out once I was back from the conference.

Him: Hey youre back in town

Me: Yeah just got back, slept all day yesterday, wasn’t feeling well

Him: Ok youre forgiven this time lol. Do you want to have a romantic dinner in tomorrow night?

Me: blah blah blah may have plans I don’t know what my plans are (desperate attempt to avoid this convo)

Him: OK so how about you and I have a romantic night in tonight or tomorrow night

Me: I’m headed to a meeting, not sure about that maybe we could just meet for a drink on my way home?

Him: Then we can cuddle up at your place and watch movies. I don’t have my car yet so I’ll have to take uber.

Me: I’ll find somewhere close to your side of town

Him: So I can uber to a bar and then uber home from your place after. Oh or you can come get me

Me: Likely not. I’m up in the am and I live north of time Desperately tries to avoid

Him: So? We don’t have to stay up late *kissy face. Not like were going to party hardy

Me: I’m going to pass on that please

Him: You say that so abruptly like it’s a bad thing. Like youre a prude about it

Me: Like I said, I’ll pass. I’m not the type of girl to bring some stranger home

Him: We’lll I’ll never offer you nice things to you again. I’m trying to be romantic and get that sort of response

Me: You act romantic with a girl that you’ve been dating and have an established relationship with. Not one you haven’t met.

Him: I thought we were actively dating Note, there are approximately 20 text exchanges over today and a week ago today I’m not talking to anyone else, I guess I should

Me: Well you likely should

Him Well thanks for your blessing

Me: Just some words of kind advice, inviting yourself over to a girl’s home before you have met them comes off as creepy dude

 

And what happens here? He finally blows his top. You can feel the temperature rising as you read this, and here we go.. he launches into a full blown tirade that I’m a cunt and deserve to be physically hurt….THIS.. THIS is why when a creepy guy compliments your hair that you note it and move along, THIS is why we try to gently avoid things and cant come right out and say no. THIS is way too common, as every damn one of us has a #metoo story or a million.As I’m getting called a flaming cunt by Rob, I get messages from another guy

Him: Hey can I ask you for your opinion on something

Me: Go for it

Him: Would you consider 11 inches too big?

Me: Not for a waist size. But I assume with your 2 inch brain youre alluding to your dick size.

Him that’s the actual size

Me: Of your brain? Clearly I get that

Him: Want to see?

Me: You have to be fucking kidding me. Why is that your approach with women? Disgusting and clearly cant be working out for you

Him: It does

Me: Well good, go bother someone else with your disgusting dick

Him: Maybe you’ll like it, I’ll send you some photos

 

Now before you start bitching at me to block these guys, I let some of these convos go just so you all can really see what the hell happens on the female side of life. This is real, this is daily. And this fucking needs to stop.

Coming Part Two: Rules for men for online dating (if they dont want to be considered a serial killer)